Whod you bang
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
