i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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