McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Randomize
