Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
