Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
