like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
