worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
These tits shall not be calmed
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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