Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize