Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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