NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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