things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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