His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
