Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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