Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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