I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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