Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
