Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
