"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
