I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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