I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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