is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I stole a fireplace last night.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
