I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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