We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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