He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
