I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the day after is always just damage control
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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