I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize