People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
