I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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