you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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