he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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