i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
