i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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