he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
