Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
