If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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