love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
