i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
