we're blogging at a bar
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
