I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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