People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
