I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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