addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
