tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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