I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
one might say we're banned from that church
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
