At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize