I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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