He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
