i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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