Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
