Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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