Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
