I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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