we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize