He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
