Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
