Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i think i just lost a toe
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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