so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think I died a long time ago.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
