That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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