she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
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